thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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