return my video game
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
