how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
