I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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