Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
