I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
