have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize