i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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