i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
