Kareoke will never be a sober sport
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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