I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
