You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
