cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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