My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
