So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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