Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
