12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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