do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
