Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
