; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
