Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
