Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
