I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
nutella sex= disaster
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
