pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
