I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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