y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
