even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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