DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
