We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need a burrito and a hug.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
