Please don't use social media to get back at me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
