My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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