That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
