is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
