What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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