a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
