would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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