Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He better not be in your backpack
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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