Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
