"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm jealous of your bromance
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
