All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
