you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
