Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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