i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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