she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
