Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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