I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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