Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
