Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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