Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I need a beard to bite.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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