The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
