Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You ruined the universe
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
