my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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