Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I lost the right to judge tonight
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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