Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
