You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
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