But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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