Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
