I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
