you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
