Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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