What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
