I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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