Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
