Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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