hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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