overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
