Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
